yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
