I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
