sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Randomize
