dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Randomize
