...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
