I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
