first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
