I smell stomach acid.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I just found a bag of teeth...
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize