@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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