ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
