Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
