the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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