after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
