I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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