lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
