i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Green mimosas i think yes
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
