I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
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