I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
