I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize