My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Randomize
