Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
