i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
