You really coming over, don't trick.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
