She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
