I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Randomize
