So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize