I just saw a hot homeless man
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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