xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
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