he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
