Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
