the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize