let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
3pm strippers are depressing
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
May the power of my ass compel you!!
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
