all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Randomize
