I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Randomize
