He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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