then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
smell my finger.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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