This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
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