HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
