do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
