3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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