Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(818): View more from California

So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.

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(631): View more from New York

I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill

(1-631): View more from New York

omg. that's awesome

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(469): View more from Texas

Really though. It's your life, live it how you want

(702): View more from Nevada

And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica

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(+27): View more from South Africa

A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.

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