Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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