evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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