So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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