I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
