I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
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