i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Randomize
