Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
