If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
