wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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