her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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