Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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