There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Oh god it's open bar.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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