Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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