do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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