she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
