I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
It's just like the Real World with babies
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
