No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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