I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize