There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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