We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Randomize
